Ponderings

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what being a mother means to me. This probably has to do with the fact that I have recently read Stephanie Nielson's book Heaven is Here. If you haven't read it I highly recommend it! I find that I can relate to Stephanie. All I ever wanted growing up was to be a mother! To marry and have beautiful children that call me "mommy" and love me no matter what! I am living that dream! I have two beautiful little girls who bring me so much joy! But often I find myself caught up in the moment and in the many things that I have on my "to do lists" that I don't take the time to just sit back and enjoy the little things, to teach them the important lessons that I know are my responsibility to teach them. Being in nursing school has added to this as well. But I am on break right now and I have 4 1/2 weeks before I have to get back into school mode. My goal is to enjoy every minute with my sweet little girls! They aren't going to be little forever. In fact my baby turned one on Monday! I can hardly believe it! Where did the time go? And it only gets me thinking about if I truly cherished the tender moments that we had with her as a sweet little baby...because that baby is long gone and a cute little toddler is in her place! I'll admit it, I'm starting to get baby hungry again. My arms are aching to hold a sweet precious brand new life in my arms and know that I made them. But...I have one more year of nursing school! The second year is going to be just as hard if not harder than the first, so I need to push those thoughts away and enjoy my girls, my family in the stage that we are in now. I need to trust that the Lord will let me know when the time is right to add to our little family.

I wanted to share these thoughts that have been going through my head. I promise to post a better update on life soon. (We have internet finally so I can!) Until then...who wants to start a book club with me, my mom, and Chelsea?! :)